10 sports so crazy you will not want to miss a thing x

(DISCLAIMER: this is purely a work of fiction and you should not be offended by any thing that is written here. If you are I suggest that you don’t read it. After all this is just a mean to kill some time)

10.PIG CHASING – I think this one actually exists. First of all you need a pig, a large arena preferably a muddy one and a chaser. You let the pig or pigs in a arena and then chaser must catch them while he is timed. My version would include hot girls and jelly instead of mud or we replace a pig with a rhinoceros a really mad one and huge like 10 feet tall. RHINO CHASING :)))

9.CURLING – you ask why is curling crazy. You have a guy that slides a huge rock like thing and then few people go around the thing and sweep. I think this is either related to some cult activity or obsessive compulsive disorder. Either way it’s crazy. And boring. And has very sedative effect. And fun if someone goes berserk with the broom :)

8. FLINTSTONES RACING MANIA – Topnotch racing cars without anything except Jamaican athletics team members that would run inside it. Although it would probably be very boring because of mister Usain I’m so fast that I shit lightning Bolt xD I love that guy. And one more thing imagine 24 hours of Le Mans. super awesome or super disaster, Either way fun :)

7. WOODPECKER SHOOTING – No you will not shoot poor little birds. You will take a small bow and use them as arrows of course xD Why woodpeckers you ask. Because they have sharp beaks. Now I still don’t have an idea for a target but maybe some fat people. That is always funny. And since this one is becoming extremely politically incorrect let’s toss a couple of dumb blondes that will do something. I mean UFC has them holding numbers I think that we will come up with something :)

6.RUNNING IN CIRCLES MARATHON – I think this one is clear. You need to run 42 km spinning around. You get a pedometer (it’s a step counting device) and when you reach 42 k you can stop. Presumably that you finish or that you even start. I think no one would be this stupid but if you see someone I have two words for you. Video CAMERA.

5. LIGHT SABER KENDO – I hope you all know what kendo is. You have two guys ( or girls) with wooden sword that practice the ancient art of handling sword. Japanese origin. Now what if we increase the number of participants and use light sabers. Awesome head falling, blood squirting, burn smelling battle royale. And who ever wins gets the hot dumb blonde that shows round number. Like there will be more than one xD Also in this honorable sport we should remember the fair play and most of all the CODE.

So BRO CODE article 38: Even in a fight to the death, a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin ( we shall add here: neither does he light saber his member :P). Except of course if a dude you are fighting isn’t a Bro but a shemale or a Blabber ( a bro that is always in a company of woman, and not that kind of company) nuff said may the Force be with you.

4. POWERLINE HANGING – SHOCKING, SHAKING, MIND NUMBING, SKIN BURNING match today is an idea for a poster. How is it done??? You find a power line and close a electricity circle with your body. Then The one that survives is the winner. Also he has awesome hair. If both of them survive the gentleman will engage in another duel or simply play a game of Broshambo (rock, paper, scissors).

Now we came to the top 3 in this order. What kind of gruesome, dangerous and legendary things we have in store. Well here they are

3. CATAPULT BLASTING – 2 crews with two catapults on different sides. OBJECTIVE: make the other team unable to fight. Either by demolishing their pult or slathering them all. We shall use gigantic rock or explosives. Maybe even sea battles. You toss in with the rock a lot of meat and blood and then when you sink the other team they will be in the ocean and ready to become shark bait. NICE J)) Also I have an idea with the lingerie pulting. Not sure how to pull this off but will inform you if I find a way :)

2.OPERA LISTENING – one more marathon event. You will be taken to the opera and be forced to listen. You fall asleep you lose. You exit you lose. You just need to shut up and listen if you can of course :) have a nice time muahahahahahahhaahaa. Losing players have to take their women to shopping for 3 days straight while the winner will bask in the glory while 3 Norwegian chick bathe him in a liquid of his choice.

1. DRINKATHON - the best, the hardest and the most awesome sport ever invented on this world. This one is real actually and happens every year in mine hometown. Start is at the beginning of the longest street and to finish you just have to walk through the whole street. Simple right. WRONG xD One of the conditions you need to enter every bar on the course and drink first a beer. Then you exit and enter the next one where you drink a real mans drink like a scotch. You should also know that in Croatia you have bars like Sahara has sand. AWESOME xD I intend to enter this year and am currently training. The notorious never ended run.

Hope you enjoyed this one :) some of the ideas that weren’t included but worth mentioning. SUPERHERO CAGEMATCH, PUKING PUZZLES (solve a box of puzzles while you have an unbearable need to puke), UNDERWATER HOCKEY and BEARHAND fighting (no not bare hand but bearhand. You take a bear paw and fight)