Bro tips for scoring at the beach

So this hot hot weather forces hot woman to go to beach and relax and maybe get a tan. So in a true Barney spirit I will give you a few tips to locate, aproach and score with chicks. Here we go.

1. LIFE wait for it GUARD - a very cool job and we all watched baywatch. Guys drolled over those smoking girls but if you watched closely you could see that girls in the series drooled over those dudes with a flotation device (no I don't mean that xD ). First of all lets put this in context. Blazing heat= less clothes and if you have great body thats one plus. Second a man that saves people is a god. Come on boys how many times did you think Mitch is cool almost like Chuck Norris. Third we all know chicks dig a uniform and although you don't have much of a uniform surlly this counts. You don't even need to work as a lifeguard. A good scouting mission to observe their equipment and a trip to the store plus a little of lieing will do the trick. ok +++ action and if you toss in a shark or a natural disaster this exponentionally grows to +++++++++++++++

2. WORKING OUT - I already mentioned this. Hot body = more atention its the same with both sexes. So In the winter and spring grab those weight and lift. It's worth it :) + action. Prep action before the main game. Basically practise.

3. BALL - you seen this in a movie. ball hits the chick and then a guy cames and takes it and makes contact. I have an even better strategy. have your wingman kick a ball and just before it hits a girl you jump to the rescue like a lion and deflect it with your mighty forearm or something like that. +++ action. You have an element of suprise + you saccrificed your life (well not exactlly but you get my drift) for her + you can play a little hurt ergo simphaty card. Triple threath you know it ;)

4. MUGGING INCIDENT - wingman assist. He mugges a girl or just takes her stuff from her towel but he need to make shure the target sees it. And just it happens that a 100 m sprint/ muay thai champion is walking near. By this I mean you xD you chath a thief and take the stuff but he somehow manages to escape. Beware. This is extremely risky. Your wingman could actually be taken down by the true champion and it won't be a good thing to watch. OK it will but only like 5 minutes xD BAIL responsabiliti falls on you so remember the formula. ALLOWED BAIL= year of friendship * 100 dolars. Above is crazy expensive bail xD OK to spice thing up you can and will get a little hurt in this process but will retrive her stuff. And can you imagine something sexier than a hero that was injured when he help you. I think not. +++++ or jail either way good time guaranted xD

5. SUN SCREEN CREAM PLOY - ok the most likely to fail. Basically search for a girl that has a problem with sun screen. If your lucky you will be invited. Other option. Take a board and write free sun screen applying here. Beware of guys and old people. But charity card is applied here. Not only do you care about other people skin but you do it for free and you help elderly. A clean good guy. This scheme is a coin toss. You will score or you will become that weird sun cream guy on the beach. Like you care xD +++ or ---

That all for now boys and girls. remember to have fun and be promiscuous on your holiday you will maybe regret it xD.
(this is purely a work of fiction and fun. Any feminist comment will be tossed in the toilet and flushed)

Introduction to characters: BARNEY STINSON

Even though Ted is shall we say main character personally Barney is my favourite and therefore he is my first topic.

Let's see. He is played by Neil Patrick Harris one awesome actor. Barney was born in some date in 1976. If I find out the date I will let you know xD. His mom was how to put this a promiscuous whore which led to creation of Barney and his brother James who is African-American and later he becomes gay. They both are awesome guys and good brothers. barney thinks his father is Bob Barker (the host of The price is right if someone doesn't know). His passions are woman (easy woman to be precise), laser tag, suits (but quality is what counts), scotch and a good cigar, and most of all spending time with his friends and making legendary stories in process.
Ted is his dubed wingman and he goes through life with the help of the "BRO CODE". It's his shall we say Bible that he follows to the letter. It's a book that has been published in reality actually and really entertaining.

Now every good Tv character has a good catch phrase. And Barney Stinson has many. From simple "High five, Awesome, Suit up" to the more complex "When I'm (insert something) I stop being (insert something) and be awesome instead. True story." But his most memorable phrase is LEGEND wait for it DARY. He uses this "wait for it" for more words to spice things up.

Barney is a pig when it come to woman. Woman are just objects for his fun and he will stop at nothing to score with a dumb chick. Magic tricks, costumes, wingmans, made up stories, alcohol and even pretend to be a traveler on the airport :) He hates to see his friends sad and will do anything to cheer them up. Went as far as San Francisco to get Lily when Marshall and Lily were broken up. Recently he has slept with Robin and broken the CODE by doing it. Ted somehow forgave him but Barney in the process fell in love with Robin and now we need to wait season 5 to see what happens :(

Barneys history is weird and funny and I will tell it someother time. To sum this up Stinson is a awesome guy, a heart of the show and a character most likely to get a spin-off. My character ranking has put him in a second place right under the legendary Al Bundy.